Cursed Blessings

A poem

(Photo by Illya Vjestica on Unsplash)

i feel such disdain

for what makes up my DNA

and what it’s done to my brain

all i want is to be okay.

i’ve become bitter, unwilling to accept

a piece of the person that i am

this graceless genetic defect

i’ve fought so hard to forget

a sickness to which i refuse to submit.

i’ve tried to drown it out

in parlors filled with poison

that only entrapped my energy

i’ve tried to swallow it down

with persuasive pills

that crippled my cheerfulness

i’ve tried to exhale it

with a perilous pale powder

that stole my sociablity

i’ve tried to find a revolutionary reflection

in crystal clear shards of glass

that held hostage my sense of humanity

i feel a heavy ache

knowing i cannot escape

what’s written in my DNA

but i know i’ll be okay