Difficult Decisions

A sonnet

(Photo by LexScope on Unsplash)

Reluctantly I regress, ten steps back;
so I’m stuck it seems, somewhere sickening
left lingering, for discipline I lack.
Too much time tinkering has troubled me.

False feelings of triumph filled me throughout,
how stupid of me not to see the truth:
monsters in my mind will always want out,
and it seems they’re only silenced with booze.

So I start small- a single shot for now,
a vain attempt to drown the pain inside
drinking as much as my wallet allows,
it’s here that my past and present collide.

I’m torn between wanting a better life
and wanting to just get wasted tonight.